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Infinite Cheesecake by aliciaspinnet
"I haven't had sex in seven years." says Thom. "And I think I've lost the ability to cry."

Phil shifts uncomfortably. Thom is challenging the boundaries of picnic conversation.

"Yes. And not only that, but I'm getting a muffin top. See?" Thom pulls up his shirt, causing three separate car-crashes involving gawking RDII members.
"Ah.. bad luck with women. I guess we're just going to have to make do, eh?" says Phil, staring at Thom's lips pointedly and polishing his head with cologne.
End Of Story

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