Tales From The Basement
Okay Action Hero...
You sneakily lose the tribals by climbing into a tree. As you put your clothes back on, one of the tribals wanders underneath you. Using one arm you reach down and quietly snap his neck with your forearm.
You pick up his knife and hid in some nearby bushes, a couple more tribals show up, you sneakily throw the knife at one of their heads and before he even hits the ground you charge the other and punch him in the throat and then tear out his wind pipe.
You dress up in one of the tribal's clothing in order to pass as one of them. Another one shows up and you begin motioning him over to "Help" your fellow tribals. When he does so, you throw an upper jab ramming his nose into his brain, killing him instantly.
You take his bow and arrows and wipe mud all over yourself. You return to the village and sneak back into the hut you were in and take your Micky Mouse Zippo lighter back and begin running around shooting fire arrows at the huts. The tribals are screaming in terror, as you mercilessly butcher them with their own spears.
Then it happens, the Chieftain appears. He looks upon the carnage you've inflicted upon his village and realizes you are not a god, but a demon! He stands before you and is ready to confront you once and for all.
You clash! The Chieftain is a very good fighter, he lands some very good hits and you'll certainly have some scars after this, but you're the good guy and have no choice but to win. Eventually you manage to stab him through the heart with his own knife.
He dies, but looks upon you with respect of a warrior. You give him the same salute as he passes into next life. He was a worthy opponent.
And to the victor go the spoils, you take both of his daughters over your shoulders, all the gems you can carry and leave the village burning down behind you because you're SUPER FUCKING COOL.
Yep, that sure was a nice last delusional thought before one of tribal's spears plunged into your back as you were trying to get away.
That night the villagers eat their "god" and look up in the heavens wondering if you're looking down at them in approval.
You sneakily lose the tribals by climbing into a tree. As you put your clothes back on, one of the tribals wanders underneath you. Using one arm you reach down and quietly snap his neck with your forearm.
You pick up his knife and hid in some nearby bushes, a couple more tribals show up, you sneakily throw the knife at one of their heads and before he even hits the ground you charge the other and punch him in the throat and then tear out his wind pipe.
You dress up in one of the tribal's clothing in order to pass as one of them. Another one shows up and you begin motioning him over to "Help" your fellow tribals. When he does so, you throw an upper jab ramming his nose into his brain, killing him instantly.
You take his bow and arrows and wipe mud all over yourself. You return to the village and sneak back into the hut you were in and take your Micky Mouse Zippo lighter back and begin running around shooting fire arrows at the huts. The tribals are screaming in terror, as you mercilessly butcher them with their own spears.
Then it happens, the Chieftain appears. He looks upon the carnage you've inflicted upon his village and realizes you are not a god, but a demon! He stands before you and is ready to confront you once and for all.
You clash! The Chieftain is a very good fighter, he lands some very good hits and you'll certainly have some scars after this, but you're the good guy and have no choice but to win. Eventually you manage to stab him through the heart with his own knife.
He dies, but looks upon you with respect of a warrior. You give him the same salute as he passes into next life. He was a worthy opponent.
And to the victor go the spoils, you take both of his daughters over your shoulders, all the gems you can carry and leave the village burning down behind you because you're SUPER FUCKING COOL.
Yep, that sure was a nice last delusional thought before one of tribal's spears plunged into your back as you were trying to get away.
That night the villagers eat their "god" and look up in the heavens wondering if you're looking down at them in approval.
