Extend the Story - Add a Room

GurlZ_r00L: fuck yah herhshey bar

ChiquitaBitchita: mmmm makes me remember that black guy I seduced last
week. Lordy he had IT.

GurlZ_r00L: dont they all

GurlZ_r00L: of like the 5 black guyz Ive been with they were all
fucking ahumongus

ChiquitaBitchita: I know.

ChiquitaBitchita: then you get chubby white guys with bloated egos and
tiny cocks.

ChiquitaBitchita: life ain't fair.

GurlZ_r00L: totally

GurlZ_r00L: it really sux for us

ChiquitaBitchita: I know.

ChiquitaBitchita: Did Mikey ever mess with you? I know he wanted to.
Hah, I bet if

ChiquitaBitchita: I turn him down he'll ask for your number.

GurlZ_r00L: u kno now that I think about it

GurlZ_r00L: he DID!!

GurlZ_r00L: holy shit!!

GurlZ_r00L: omg bad memory bad memory !!!

ChiquitaBitchita: haha

GurlZ_r00L: Im totally gonna cut myself afrter this bitch!!

GurlZ_r00L: lolz

GurlZ_r00L: so yeah

GurlZ_r00L: once I was staying after class

GurlZ_r00L: and he stayd too

ChiquitaBitchita: I knew he was after your kitten!

GurlZ_r00L: and he came up behind me and grabbed my tits so hard and i
was like u fucker!!!!!

GurlZ_r00L: and he smelled like puke or somthign nasty i dont even kno
I tried so hart tod forget

ChiquitaBitchita: ugh, You've always had nice big titties, I'm
suprised he was even interested. You being a real woman and all. haha.
What did you do?

GurlZ_r00L: i slapped him across his ugly zitty pizzaface

GurlZ_r00L: then i got relaly drunk I think

ChiquitaBitchita: Let the hand do all the talking!

ChiquitaBitchita: no wonder I haven't heard this one

ChiquitaBitchita: I mean, I knew you always had a hate thing for him

GurlZ_r00L: ugh

GurlZ_r00L: brb need more chocolate

ChiquitaBitchita: Never can have 2 much chocolate.

GurlZ_r00L: (AWAY MESSAGE: MIKEY PUKEY ewwwww!!)

ChiquitaBitchita: LOL

ChiquitaBitchita: Mikey Pukey for sure.

GurlZ_r00L: well say hi and fuck you to him from me

GurlZ_r00L: omg i am such a cow

ChiquitaBitchita: I remember this one girl on the hall, she was like a
virgin or whatever, and he thought if he could get in her pants, she
like wouldn't realize how tiny his shit is. And so he kept hitting on
her.

GurlZ_r00L: i need to get rid of this cholate!

ChiquitaBitchita: but she was all for jeezus

ChiquitaBitchita: I'll pass on the message

GurlZ_r00L: og not another jeebus freak!

GurlZ_r00L: lol thanx

ChiquitaBitchita: Damn. My boss just came in here.

GurlZ_r00L: fack

ChiquitaBitchita: I gotta go Gurl.... I have to at least LOOK busy.
You know the game

ChiquitaBitchita: hit me up on the celly later

GurlZ_r00L: oh no I cant!!

ChiquitaBitchita: why not?

GurlZ_r00L: it feel in the toilet!! lie eewwww!!

ChiquitaBitchita: that's nasty

ChiquitaBitchita: but now you can buy that sleak new Gucci phone they
just brought out. God, I'm sweating that thing more than I did my last
four boyfriends... EVEN that model.

ChiquitaBitchita: Haha, I forget your loyalty is to your other machine. lolz

ChiquitaBitchita: Grr... my boss is back and he is giving me the "look"

ChiquitaBitchita: I want to give him the finger, but I better not.

GurlZ_r00L: ok fiiiiine

GurlZ_r00L: ur job lets u get lots of cute clothes!

ChiquitaBitchita: I know.

ChiquitaBitchita: ok. I'm out.

ChiquitaBitchita: chat later?

GurlZ_r00L: lol let me no what happens!!!

GurlZ_r00L: that guy is soooo narsty

GurlZ_r00L: ew imma throw up now

GurlZ_r00L: thanks babe!

ChiquitaBitchita: hah he won't write me back. I'll make sure of it.

ChiquitaBitchita: he'll take his little cock tuck it up between his
fat legs and run home crying.

ChiquitaBitchita: mmm hmm.

GurlZ_r00L: lolzroflmfao baiii!!!

ChiquitaBitchita: enjoy the chocolate. Oprah's on in five!

GurlZ_r00L: 0_0

ChiquitaBitchita: bye!!

GurlZ_r00L: later chicaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

You heave a big sigh, stretching out your arms and moaning loudly as you feel your silk pajamas brush up against your stomach. Trying very hard to forget the conversation you just had, you slip into your memory foam slippers and slither your way to the living room. Dropping down heavily on the couch, you turn on the TV. You notice fingerprints on the remote control. Dammit! How many times do you have to tell Lily not to eat organic potato chips on the fucking couch? You could rip her fucking head off! Gah! You need more chocolate. Wiping away a little tear, because this next indulgence is sure to make you pay, you shuffle your way back to the refrigerator where you grab the entire bag of little Hershey bars and also the Lysol. After disinfecting your remote, you gingerly pick it up and flip to Oprah.

Oprah sits scowling at the camera.

"Today," she says slowly, accenting each syllable, "We are going to talk about the tragedy of incestuous child abuse..."

Jesus Fucking Christmas. You really are about to ralph. You stuff a few more chocolates in your mouth and switch to Dr. Phil.

"Todaaaay," says Dr. Phil with that oddly appealing Southern drawl, "We're going to meet a family in crisis. Johnny's mother-in-law has accused him of conducting himself inappropriately with his two small daughters..."

Back to Oprah. It's a commercial break. For Viagra. You stuff a few more chocolates in your face. You feel a little worse. You stuff a few more chocolates in your face. Ah, beautiful oblivion!

The great television dilemma: which very informative and absolutely necessary show do you watch?

Watch Oprah's show about incestuous child molestation