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Freaky Night

Written by xtormentedchikx / PG: Parental Guidance Suggested / 3.00 (3 ratings) (3)
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Comments & Ratings

Author Rating Date Comment
Alejate
Alejate		 Jun 15, 2008
I'm not giving a 1 because I've already seen worse in other stories. That said, I believe that you should motivate the audience to read your story from the first page. In this case, the first page does not present any premise on what the reader would expect, so that keeps some potential readers away from your story. Say something about the story. Will it be a serious psycho flick or a Halloween comedy? The way it is presented now, I'll just be clicking mindlessly through the links until I find something that catches my interest. Not good.
by Alejate on Jun 15, 2008
Leblanc4prez
Leblanc4prez		 May 5, 2008
I think you will be an awesome writer soon. I think this is kinda cool.
by Leblanc4prez on May 5, 2008
Calen
Calen		 Apr 23, 2008
I'm giving you a three because you're improving- the grammar is better, but you need to slow down and include much more detail.
by Calen on Apr 23, 2008

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