13-Death (lets party)

Comments & Ratings

This was very bad. 2 choices out it is over and it contained no real content. Try less choices but take each choice out to a further degree.
by apotheosis on Feb 1, 2007
Hmm... every room I tried was not compleat and I just got tired of it. You should work on this story more...
by writer22 on Nov 6, 2006
I gave you a 2 for initiative, but the story itself does nothing for me. Personal opinion...drugs are not cool.
by CelticFrostQueen on Oct 17, 2005
This story is tired and uninspired. And by the way, you'd die from your stomach Hemorrhaging before you'd ever O.D. on shrooms. Also, the common myth that the caps are more potent than the stems is just taboo. Trust me.
by ChubbyTeletubby on Jul 4, 2005
Yep, as he said you have not filled in enough of the story. You should have done "Settings, Private" so that you could work on the story and THEN have everyone read it.

But I am going to give you mercy, because Christ the King told me to. He says you'll join the both of us in hell. Moreover, it's your first story.
by jeffisthebest on Jul 2, 2005
It's your first story. So I'll be kind. I'm impressed that you wrote 25 rooms in one day, but was not impressed with the story itself. There was no description. But I guess that goes along with the lack of a plot. Also you don't have to use all five choices in every room, that way you can concentrate on two or three interesting choices, rather than a bunch of stupid ones. Keep writing though, you just need to put more work into it.
by donteatpoop on Jul 1, 2005

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