Valley Viper

Feeling like a loser. You step off a curb. You wonder why you just didn't jump off the building. Just then, you are blinded by the swift moving bus.
"ERRRRRRRRRR!" The bus stops, inches from your nose. The driver comes out. and yells at you.
"Hey! Idiot! What the hell are you trying to do?"
"Kill myself." you say.
"In that case.."
The driver takes out his pistol and blows a hole into your face. You drop to the ground. Seconds later, the bus drives over you.
Merry Christmas.