Aliens: The return

(4)

Comments & Ratings

Author	Date	Comment
ramlod	Apr 26, 2013	could be better by ramlod on Apr 26, 2013
Alexgamer	Jul 31, 2010	by Alexgamer on Jul 31, 2010
theknight	Dec 18, 2005	Please add extra rooms so that the story can get better! :) by theknight on Dec 18, 2005
jeffisthebest	Dec 10, 2005	DEP, how does this deserve a 7...I'm sorry but the entire story is just like you are this you do this you see this you f*** this it gets repetitive by jeffisthebest on Dec 10, 2005
theknight	Nov 26, 2005	Please rate this story so I you can tell me if I'm doing anything wrong :) by theknight on Nov 26, 2005
donteatpoop	Sep 24, 2005	theknight, glad to see you are still writing. This story showed great improvement over the other. Your other story, a I recall was decent too. This aliens rendition was well put together. I still think you could work on more details to improve everything overall, though. Details are what truly define a story. I hope that you take my advice when I say this, but use the edit button on the bottom of each page and put in some "filler" details. Describe the way things and people look, their emotions, and observations. It will greatly improve your solid plotlines. (Except for your story about poop, there was no helping that, I'm glad to see you've moved past it.) by donteatpoop on Sep 24, 2005